What he did with her, I get visions in my mind of them together. I know hes sorry. They all are sorry. Tell me I did nothing wrong. Its all their faults. I know its true. I know I am a damn good girlfriend. I just dont understand why. Why he had to do it. Why he didnt think about me, our future, our plans. I tried so hard to stay away from him when I found out. To get away. To finally have the stregnth to get pulled into it all over again. If it was under different cicumstances I would maybe understand. But I just lost our child, we were suppose to be getting married that weekend, He's DEPLOYING. It all just hurts so much. I know I can forgive. I have obviously. But I can not forget what he did. I will never love him the same, trust him the same, look at him the same. Which is such a shame for the love I thought we had. I just wish it would all go away. I know hes sorry. He is groveling at my feet and has changed. Im just scared its going to lead down the same road it did with Jason. I knew what jason was doing behind my back with her but I thought he was my true love. So I couldnt give up. IDK. I give him balls for telling it to my face and admitting it. Jason just kept lying over lie when I had proof right infront of our faces. Took him a year after we broke up to finally admit what he did. All I know is I can forgive but Never forget. I just want my forever.
Oh well, Just another stepping stone in life I guess.
7 weeks 4 days.
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ReplyDeleteGirl your gonna make me cry! I cant believe he did that too you after everything and marriage that weekend! Ugh I think he was scared but still no excuse for that shit. I hope you can find the love you had for him one day back and get your forever. This happened to Travis and I, I forgave him but never forgot and now I am 22 and divorced. So just make sure you can handle it before marriage because it can change ppl. Goodluck hun!
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