Well,

Its been forever since I've had a blog. I feel its time to get another one since I know I will be going through a lot soon. I have been going through a lot and for some reason typing it all out taking my anger and frustration out on a keyboard makes me feel just a tad bit better.

I live each day feeling like I have done nothing in my life that I thought I would have by now. I feel like I'm on cruise control mode just cruising through life and I hate it. Devin has been gone for about 3 weeks now an it feels like forever. I dont even know how I am going to feel when hes gone for 7 months. Our time is dwindling down and seems to be getting shorter and shorter. 7 weeks and 5 days until he deploys. Makes me want to break down and cry everytime I think about it. I know we can make it and will make it. He hasnt even left yet but the fear of something happening to him keeps me up at night. Fear of losing him and not going through all our plans and dreams. I dont even know how I would deal with that. Him and I have gone through so much in this 6 month span I know he is my forever. I just want to start our forever now and not have to watch him leave into a danger zone.  Its what us marine girlfriends and wives have to go through. Thankfully I only have to go through this once, hopefully.